Seeking Decoration or Depth in Companionship?

• Shraddha C Sankulkar
   
• 29-Feb-2024

Many married and unmarried couples who are committed to each other are aware that compatibility is very important to get the relationship started. But is compatibility enough to sustain a long-term meaningful relationship? These days, break ups and separations are occurring as jet speed, despite choosing a compatible partner.
Two people getting committed to each other are like a seed being planted in soil. For the seed to develop into a plant and later into a fruit laden tree, it is important to care for and provide the seed with the right environment for it’s survival. Likewise in a committed relationship identifying partner’s needs and accordingly mutually offering a viable environment for the bond to bloom, is the key factor. If there is neglect towards nurturing a relationship, then slowly and surely the relationship will loose its ‘moisture’ and soon will dry up and crack.
For long term sustenance of companionship, one must introspect if one’s relationship is merely a ‘garnishing’ relationship or a ‘pickled’ relationship? Perhaps yet another analogy can help us to understand the concept. When a chef prepares a delicious dish, he/she further garnishes it with something that acts as mere decoration. Usually most of the garnishing elements are a superficial element which actually don’t add any significant flavor to the dish. E.g. Coriander leaves sprinkled on a delicious dish of Chicken Biryani. On the other hand, cubes of raw mangoes are marinated, properly spiced, and preserved in a bottle for a stipulated time to create a lip-smacking delicious raw mango pickle. During the pickle preservation period in the bottle, all the ingredients percolate into the pieces of raw mango, thus giving a wholesome flavor to the pickle. The point is that, ideally relationships too need to be preserved over a period, if the love must percolate deep within each other’s system and last.
Caring, sharing, and positively interacting in all ‘seasons’ of life, brings that spicy flavor to a relationship. For that, one must spend enough time with a partner to give and receive quality care in the process. A given time frame is like a pickle bottle in which the committed two individuals absorb the spices released by each other. Unlike the ‘pickled’ relationship, a ‘garnishing’ relationship is just for decoration. Such ‘garnishing’ relationships may just be a social decoration, which does not release any significant flavor to the relationship. Consequently, there is no deep ‘time tested’ love experienced, and even if there is any, it doesn’t percolate deep within each other’s identity. As a result, the foundations of such a relationship stay weak, which may eventually lead to emotional distance and break up in the relationship. Everyone needs to analyze one’s relationship status from time to time and the price one is paying for neglecting the quality of their love life. Therefore, it’s highly recommended that couples must mutually take care of each other’s survival and in the process ‘marinate’ themselves into each other’s flavor, by striking a balance between ambition and affection while shuffling priorities. May you have lasting ‘pickled’ relationships!